10 Career Habits That Could Be Holding Women Back at Work

You can be excellent at your job and still watch someone less experienced, less capable or less hardworking move ahead of you.

It is frustrating. And it can feel deeply unfair.

Over 15 years in corporate environments and a decade in leadership, I have watched talented women rescue difficult projects, solve complex problems and become indispensable, yet still be overlooked for promotions and high-visibility opportunities.

The workplace is not an entirely level playing field. Bias still affects whose confidence is rewarded, whose potential is recognized and who is considered “leadership material.”

We cannot solve all of those inequalities through individual effort. But we can examine the part of our careers we can influence.

Once you recognize the habits making your contribution harder to see, you can stop waiting to be discovered and start building a career that shows what you are actually capable of.

1. Believing good work will speak for itself

Good work matters. But it does not speak for itself. People do.

One of the most common mistakes I see talented women make is assuming that consistently delivering excellent results will inevitably lead to recognition. They work hard, meet every deadline and solve difficult problems, then feel blindsided when someone else gets the opportunity they wanted.

Your manager may know you are dependable. That does not mean they always fully understand the value you create.

Managers may be balancing multiple employees, projects and competing priorities. We may see the final result without seeing the risk you prevented or the challenge you resolved. If you do not connect your work to its impact, that part of your contribution remains invisible.

This means learning to communicate your work accurately is a valuable skill.

To put it in a day-to-day example, instead of saying, “The project went well,” you could say:

“I coordinated three teams, resolved the dependency that was delaying testing and helped us deliver two weeks ahead of the revised schedule.”

I also recommend keeping a record of your achievements throughout the year. Capture the problem, what you did and the measurable result. Make your contribution easy to understand and easy for your manager to use when advocating for you.

In my guide to acing a job interview from a hiring manager’s perspective, I explain how to turn your experience into structured answers that demonstrate your actual contribution.

2. Thinking it is your manager’s job to discover your brilliance

A good manager should help you grow. They should give you feedback, create opportunities and represent your work fairly.

But your manager is not solely responsible for designing your career.

They cannot know what you want unless you tell them. They may see you as a great specialist while you quietly hope to become a people manager. So they will continue assigning you the work you already do well, unaware that you want experience in strategy, budgeting or executive communication.

Do not wait for your manager to say, “I have noticed your potential, and here is the perfect next step.” Sometimes that happens. Often, it doesn’t

Be explicit:

“I would like to be considered for a leadership role in the next 12 months.”
“What evidence would you need to confidently recommend me for X position?”
“Which experience is currently missing from my profile?”
“Can I lead the next cross-functional initiative?”

Your career is a partnership. Your manager has responsibilities, but so do you. If you leave your progression entirely in someone else’s hands, you may eventually discover that they were working from a very different plan.

3. Remaining professionally invisible

Visibility is not the same as being loud, constantly online or physically present in an office five days a week.

I strongly believe people can perform exceptionally well remotely. But remote and hybrid work remove some of the casual visibility that happens naturally in a shared workplace. If senior colleagues never hear your ideas, see you present or associate your name with important outcomes, they have less information on which to evaluate your potential.

You should make visibility intentional.

Contribute when you have something useful to add. Present the work you led instead of handing it to someone else. Send concise progress updates that explain outcomes, decisions and risks. Volunteer for cross-functional work that introduces you to people outside your immediate team.

Use the communication channels available to you intelligently. Turning your camera on during an important conversation or attending a strategically valuable in-person meeting can strengthen relationships.

4. Avoiding networking until you need something

Many women I have worked with dislike the word networking because it sounds transactional: entering a crowded room, making small talk and collecting contact details from people they hope can help them.

Small talk – an introvert’s kryptonite – is not what’s going to help you develop meaningful relationships.

A professional network is a group of people who know your work, trust your judgment and remember you when opportunities arise. You build it gradually, by being interested in others, sharing knowledge and staying in touch after a project ends.

When I say gradually, I mean it can take years to really have the connections that will make a difference in your career growth.

Do not wait until you need a new job, an introduction or support for a promotion.

Build relationships across departments and levels. Speak to people outside your immediate area. Ask thoughtful questions about their work. Follow up occasionally without asking for anything. Look for opportunities to be useful.

5. Confusing hard work with high-impact work

Being busy and being valuable are not always the same thing.

You can work longer hours than everyone around you and still spend most of your time on tasks that do not influence the outcomes your organisation cares about. This is especially dangerous for capable, dependable professionals: once people learn that you will handle anything, they begin giving you everything.

Your reputation becomes “helpful” and “reliable.” But when promotion discussions happen, nobody can identify the strategic result you own.

Some questions you can ask yourself before accepting a project:

Which business problem does this work solve?
Who will notice or use the outcome?
Does it build a skill I need for my next role?
Am I doing this because it matters, or because I am the person who never says no?

Not every task needs to advance your career. We all contribute to routine work and help colleagues. The problem is allowing low-impact work to consume the energy required for higher-value opportunities.

Being busy makes you useful. Solving important problems makes you promotable.

Researchers sometimes call these non-promotable tasks because they help the organisation but rarely contribute meaningfully to someone’s performance evaluation or career progression. Research by Linda Babcock and colleagues found that women were more likely to volunteer for these tasks and were also more likely to be asked to do them.

The issue is not that this work is beneath you. The issue is unequal accumulation.

If you repeatedly accept these tasks, you lose time that someone else is using to lead a visible initiative or deepen their expertise.

Before volunteering, pause. Ask whether the responsibility is being shared fairly. Suggest a rotation. If you accept it, clarify its scope and make the value visible. And when your workload is already full, try saying:

“I can take this on, but I will need to deprioritise X. Which is more important?”

6. Mistaking being mentored for being sponsored

Most people I managed had a mentor. Far fewer had a sponsor. A mentor offers guidance, feedback and the benefit of their experience. A sponsor uses their credibility to advocate for you in rooms you cannot access. Both are valuable, but sponsorship can be particularly important when stretch assignments and leadership roles are discussed privately. Sometimes your mentor can be your sponsor but it’s not a given.

You earn sponsorship by doing strong work, building trust and making your ambitions known.

Research on career advancement backs this up consistently: women are more likely to be over-mentored and under-sponsored relative to men, and it’s sponsorship – not mentorship – that correlates with actual promotions, pay increases, and access to high-visibility projects.

Audit your senior relationships honestly. Are they giving you guidance, or are they spending capital on your behalf? If your senior relationships provide guidance but no advocacy, focus on building trust and visibility with leaders who are positioned to support your progression. Sponsorship is developed through strong work, credibility and mutual trust.

7. Softening your expertise

“I’m not sure, but…”

“This might be a silly idea…”

“I just wanted to mention…”

“Maybe we could possibly consider…”

Good leaders acknowledge uncertainty and remain open to other perspectives. But when you soften every statement, including subjects you understand deeply, you make your expertise sound less reliable than it is.

Compare these two statements:

“I’m not sure, but maybe we should delay the launch?”

“I recommend delaying the launch because two critical controls have not been tested.”

Which person are you more likely to trust?

Women sometimes receive contradictory messages: be confident, but not intimidating; speak up, but remain likeable. That double standard is real. The answer is to communicate clearly at the level of your knowledge.

One of the best ways to understand how you communicate, and where you could improve, is to listen to yourself speak. Regularly.

It will feel uncomfortable at first. But listening back can reveal habits you won’t notice in the moment.

– Do you rely on filler words?

– Apologize when no apology is needed?

– Speak too quietly or rush through important points?

– Does your voice become uncertain when you are challenged?

Once you recognize these patterns, you can practise changing them intentionally. Then listen again, adjust and continue improving.

For approximately seven years, I listened every week to a recording of a meeting in which I had actively presented, defended a position or debated an important topic. It was one of the most valuable communication exercises I have ever done. Over time, it made a noticeable difference to the clarity, confidence and authority with which I speak.

Please don’t use this exercise to criticize yourself or attempt to sound like someone else. The objective is to notice whether the way you communicate accurately reflects the knowledge and credibility you already possess.

Always follow your organisation’s recording policies and ensure participants have consented. You can also practise safely by recording a presentation or simulated response on your own.

These small language habits can impact how others perceive your confidence and authority. I explore the most common examples—and what to say instead—in The Words That Undermine Your Authority at Work.

8. Waiting until you feel completely ready

Talented professionals treat readiness as a feeling that must arrive before action.

They wait until they meet every requirement before applying or want one more qualification before asking for promotion.

Meanwhile, someone with fewer doubts, and sometimes less evidence, steps forward.

You should not pursue work you are fundamentally unqualified to perform. But stretch opportunities are supposed to contain an element you have not mastered yet. If you can already do every part of the role comfortably, it may not be a stretch at all.

When presented with a new opportunity, I recommend asking yourself these questions:

Do I meet the most important requirements?
Can I learn the remaining elements?
What evidence demonstrates that I can succeed?
What is the realistic risk of accepting this opportunity?

Confidence doesn’t precede action, it follows it.

Apply. Ask. Negotiate. Put your name forward. Let the decision-maker assess your readiness instead of rejecting yourself on their behalf.

Waiting for your employer to voluntarily recognize that you deserve more can leave you underpaid for years. My Guide to Salary Negotiation for Women includes practical preparation steps and language you can use when asking for a raise, negotiating an offer or discussing a promotion.

9. Thinking everyone must be happy with your choices

At a certain point in your career, being good at your job will require disappointing someone.

You will need to say no to an unrealistic request, challenge a poor decision, give difficult feedback or protect your team from unnecessary work. If you need everyone to like you, you will struggle to do these things consistently.

This does not mean becoming cold or dismissive. Kindness and authority can coexist. But kindness is not the same as avoiding uncomfortable conversations.

People-pleasing at work can appear professional. You answer every message immediately, accept work without negotiating priorities and explain a reasonable boundary until it sounds like a request for permission.

The price you pay is exhaustion, resentment and a reputation for accommodating decisions rather than shaping them.

Try replacing excessive justification for your decisions with firm boundaries: “I cannot commit to Friday without moving the existing deadline. I can deliver this next Tuesday, or we can agree on what should be deprioritised.”

Leadership is not a popularity contest. You can be respectful without making universal approval a condition of your decisions.

10. Building your career around one influential person

Sponsorship matters, but dependence is not sponsorship.

Having a senior leader who believes in you can make an enormous difference to your career. The danger begins when that person becomes the only source of your visibility, credibility or access to opportunities.

One influential relationship should support your professional reputation, not become your entire professional reputation.

Careers become vulnerable when access, visibility and opportunities depend primarily on a single person. That leader may leave the organisation, move to another area or lose influence. Priorities may change. If your credibility has not extended beyond that relationship, you may find yourself rebuilding from the beginning.

Build professional relationships across teams, functions and levels. Make sure several people understand your contribution and can speak credibly about your work. Present your own results, develop expertise others recognize and contribute to outcomes that remain visible beyond your immediate reporting line.

A strong sponsor can open a door. Your reputation, judgment and results must sustain you once you walk through it.

The goal is to build a body of work that makes your name worth knowing.

Your career cannot rely on being discovered

None of these habits means a woman is responsible for every time she has been underestimated, underpaid or overlooked.

Organisations need fairer promotion processes. Managers need to distribute visible and invisible work more equitably. Leaders need to evaluate outcomes rather than proximity, confidence or similarity to themselves.

But while we keep asking workplaces to improve, we should not surrender the choices that are already ours.

You can document your impact. You can state your ambitions. You can build relationships before you need them. You can stop filling every gap simply because you are capable of doing so. You can communicate with clarity, ask before you feel completely ready and allow someone to disagree with you without abandoning your position.

You need to make your value visible and become an active participant in the direction of your own career.

Start with one question:

Which of these habits is costing me the most right now?

Then choose one action you can take this week.

Update your achievement record. Arrange the conversation with your manager. Reconnect with a former colleague. Decline one task that should be shared. Put your name forward for the opportunity you have been hoping someone would offer you.